Monday Morning in Rwanda

We were without internet all day yesterday so I wasn't able to check in. We leave for the airport in a few minutes so I'll make this brief.

I had an amazing morning yesterday as I visited our sister Lutheran Church in Nyamata. The first time we went there in 2005 it is was all dirt roads to the church--with massive bumps and holes. It took us a couple of hours one way. Now--a newly paved road and a breezy 25 minute drive! The ride out is beautiful as it takes us out into the country. The hills of Rwanda are breath-taking.

It's hard to put into words what it's like to worship with and preach to a culture very, very different than our own. But it is pretty cool. Since they didn't know I was coming until Wednesday they didn't have the usual big welcome dance and gift presentation (which is a powerful experience) but that's what I asked for. Keep it simple.

The music and singing is infectious. They have three instruments--a drum, their voices, and their bodies. I can't dance but they sure can. I had a chance to preach for a few minutes and bring greetings from Grace and other friends from the US.

When I get home I'll put some pictures on a post to give you a sense of the congregation and the experience I had.

This morning Alycia and I had breakfast with Pastor John. John is doing development work in a rural area. He is training the community to work together to build projects. They are building a 45 room medical clinic that is community driven--it employs people, gives them skills, and trains them as leaders. They are actually holding the government accountable to help them get the project done. Grace has contributed to this project and will continue to do so. I'll add some pics when I get home.

It is really cool to see a project like this being built by the people, lead by the people, developing people, employing people, with money from churches and the government.

That's it for now. I'm headed home. I'll probably do a reflection on the trip post during one of my two 8 hour layovers between my two 10 hour flights.

Saturday Night in Rwanda

Oy! Where to begin!

This afternoon at the conference an organization that helps with reconciliation lead the session. With them was a perpetrator of genocide--one who had participated in the killings.

For the first 45 minutes or so the leader talked about the reasons for the genocide. One of the men stood up and told how the Hutu were lined up on one side of the classroom in grade school and the Tutsi were lined up on the other. The teacher then taught the students that the Tutsi were snakes.

After that, the perpetrator stood up. He said, "I am only asking for forgiveness. How many of you will raise up your hands and forgive me?"

Many of the students in that room were victims of the genocide. Some of their family members had been brutally murdered. And one of the murderers was asking for their forgiveness. Wow!

Many raised their hands. Several had to leave the room because the emotions were too deep. I could literally feel the tension--it made me anxious.

The man then talked a bit about how he had killed many people. After being released from prison--in order to tell people his story--he hid in the bush, too afraid to be seen by the family members of the people he had murdered. Eventually, those very family members found him and invited him to stay with them! They helped feed his family!

It was quite an experience. There was a mass murderer standing in front of me. Many in that room had family members who had been viciously murdered by a man like him. How do you forgive such a man?

At the end of the session they sang a worship song together and the perpetrator participated with them. Wow!

It's hard to put into words the experience. Suffice it to say, it was something I've never been through before.

On a lighter note--much lighter note--Alycia pointed out to me that the sound system being used for the conference was paid for by---Community of Grace! Pretty cool.

Saturday afternoon in Rwanda

A quick check in before I head over to the conference:

Alycia has been there for a few hours already. More lecture stuff. But I want to head over to get a couple of stories to share with you and to meet with Gaylord from the ELCA to make sure our support of Rwanda is effective and best for those receiving that support.

While I haven't been terribly engaged at this point in stuff here my conversations with Alycia have been worth the trip. She is so passionate about truly impacting people and countries like Rwanda. She also is keenly aware of what really works and what creates a more passive, victim oriented culture. She's always pointing out areas where we tend to be paternal and patronizing vs. real partners.

For example, supporting projects that the people carry out is a good model. Another great model is for entrepreneurs to start businesses that provide jobs and much needed services.

The question is, how do we see ourselves as partners with our friends in Rwanda rather than a bank? (Not that we see ourselves as that--but it's one of the pitfalls of simply giving money without any other real investment). How do we as Christians work for justice in the world, not only feeding the hungry but breaking down the social and political and religious systems that create poverty in the first place? How do we lift people up and empower them to take control of their own lives vs. keeping them dependent?

She's really stimulated my thinking when it comes to our entire mission at Grace. What does it really look like for us to be a transformational society, bringing grace to the oppressed, the abused, the hungry, the ignored, the written-off, in a way that truly frees them to care for themselves.

We saw some great models of this last night on the Rwanda network, as they showcased stories of successful people who are coming back to Rwanda after leaving due to the genocides of the 1950's and 1990's, and using their success to rebuild the country through jobs, goods, serves, etc.

The series we started on Sunday looking at the revolution Jesus came to bring, will help us focus on these issues. All too often Christianity focuses on saving our souls for heaven. Jesus came to bring the future promise of heaven to earth right now--bringing a taste of the future through justice, mercy, forgiveness, hope, love, and healing both personally and globally.

This has been stretching stuff for me as I've spent so much of my ministry trying to introduce people to Jesus. My sense now is that my calling as pastor is to work with our community of faith to bring the power of grace to the world in tangible ways that include advocacy, justice work, feeding the hungry, and creating opportunities to empower people to become who God created them to be. A bit fuzzy for me yet, but I'm confident that together God will bring some clarity.

Pastor Muzigura from Nyamata, the Lutheran Church here in Rwanda we sponsor, just called. He's waiting for me downstairs. I didn't know he was coming! So gotta run. Forgive any typos! :)

Friday Evening in Rwanda

Not a lot to report from today. Alycia returned about 2 pm. We were going to head out for some shopping, sightseeing but she fell asleep and was out for 3 hours. She really needed it so I had no desire to wake her. So I continued to use the time to read, write, and get some work done.

As I write this I continue to be amazed at how connected the world is. I'm receiving emails from Phoenix on a regular basis. I can call home to Jan via a cell phone. I can keep you updated on what I'm up to (or not up to) in Rwanda. While I'm half a world away from home I have instant access. Pretty cool.

Friday Afternoon in Rwanda

One of the reasons for my trip here was to keep Alycia company as she traveled over here to work the conference. I was also intrigued by the conference itself. I had the impression that there would be times for the young adults to share their stories of the genocide. But the schedule was booked solid with speakers. Today, for example, it was all day long talking about economics, things like micro-banking. I decided to skip it.

Then Alycia called. One of the speakers didn't show so the young adults took the time to tell their stories. As the emotions grew Alycia pulled aside one of the conference organizers to tell him that they needed to offer some individual counseling for the young adults there on the spot. So the pastors were recruited to help out.

Exactly why I wanted to attend the conference and I missed it! On the one hand, how was I to know? On the other hand, what a disappointment! Good on Alycia, however, for seizing the moment and putting into motion a very necessary follow up for those whose deep wounds were re-opened through a very important time of sharing.

I'm hoping tomorrow a few of the students may take the time to tell me their stories so that I can pass them along to you.

Friday morning in Rwanda

Had a good night's sleep. That makes all the difference in the world.

Going to try to work out today. Haven't done much of that the last two weeks.

Alycia will head to the conference for the morning. In the afternoon we'll try to take in some of Kigali.

Thursday evening in Rwanda

Rough nights often lead to interesting days. Today was one of them.

Alycia was asked to be a part of the media team for the conference being held here--meaning she is helping some of the young people set up the blog for the conference, take pics, etc. The team came over to the hotel this morning to do some work. It was fun hanging behind the scenes watching all the action.

Then we headed over to the conference itself. As we climbed out of the cabs we were immediately met with sniper fire and the secret service rushed us over to the...wait a minute. I must be sleep deprived. For a moment I thought I was running for president, trying to beef up my foreign experience credentials.

The conference is hosting about 70 young people (18-35) from Kenya, Rwanda, Burundi, and Uganda. The purpose is to talk about how to bring about reconciliation--a timely topic especially for the Rwandans.

We got there in time for a some singing and lunch. Then we had the first session lead by a Rwandan government official who talked about the reconciliation process in Rwanda. It poured rain during the event so it was very refreshing once we could open the windows again.

There are two pastors here from California. They also have a sister church in Rwanda. Both brought a couple of youth from their church.

Right before the session I had a chance to chat with Josephat. Josephat belongs to a Lutheran church in Kenya that was recently burned down during the political uprisings. Quite a story. The church, preschool, and pastor's house were all burned. The church decided that rather than rebuild, they first need to rebuild their community--to bring about peace and healing. He talked of the new sports teams they've put together and the hope of seeing something great happen.

During the political unrest he came across a friend who had been slashed and beaten. Josephat didn't quite know what to do. On the one hand, if he stopped to help, those who beat the man would beat Josephat. On the other, he couldn't turn his back on the man. Thankfully someone drove up at that moment and they put the beaten man into the car. Josephat has no idea what happened to him. Imagine having to make that decision!

He also talked about how difficult it was being forced to use weapons to protect his property. As a Christian he struggled with whether or not he was actually protecting his home or doing the attacking. Hard to get our brains around such a world. He, along with other Kenyans, are hopeful that the new agreements will bring peace.

So quite an eventful few hours.

Alycia is currently crashing, thank goodness! Once she wakes up I'm hoping we can head out for some pizza. I don't think I can tolerate one more ham and cheese sandwich.

9 am Thursday, Rwanda

Finally got about 4 hours of sleep. Feeling pretty hung over but glad to have slept a bit.

Alycia and I will hopefully meet with some of the team this morning here at the hotel. Alycia is going to try to cut back a bit on her involvement (they go from 8 am - 10 pm!) to help give me a chance to get back up to speed.

I'm excited to be here. This is such a beautiful country. The hotel we're in is nice--which helps since I've needed to spend more time here than expected.

My primary mission was to be here to be of moral support to Alycia. So we're having a good time (she's getting married this summer so it's our last father/daughter trip). In reality, I'm probably driving her nuts but that's just pay back for all those years she drove me nuts! :)

Thursday very very early in Rwanda

Hey, sports fans,

Well, it's about 5 am and yours truly has not yet fallen asleep. Those of you who have traveled overseas may have had nights like this. I pride myself on "converting" quickly to the time zone I'm in. Thought I had it down but wow, my body is way off. This really stinks. Fighting the virus for a week, all the flying, etc., add up to a fun-filled night of insomnia. I even took two doses of Nyquil (4 hours apart). Basically I've been "resting," moving from my bed to the double bed to the couch and back again. Finally surrendered and gave up to gripe to you in blogsville! To be honest, this really caught me by surprise. Was finally starting to feel human again. Oops!

The good news is that I have nothing I actually have to be at or do so if need be I can continue to lay low until I adjust. I'll have to do my best to try to stay awake throughout the day and get on schedule.

And I thought the tough part was actually getting here!

So it goes.

I had this happen to me years ago in Germany. I had 2-3 nights where I just could not sleep. But hung in there and finally converted. I know you overseas travelers can probably relate. Probably some of you who have never traveled overseas who can relate to insomnia.

So would appreciate your prayers.

Wednesday Evening In Rwanda

Not much to report as we wrap up the day.

I spent the day trying to rest up. Did a very easy 20 mins on the stationary bike. Took a sauna for a few minutes to sweat out the virus. Had a ham sandwich for breakfast. Had a ham sandwich for lunch. Had a ham sandwich and spaghetti for dinner!

Alycia had a very long day. Things are rather unorganized and chaotic but she hung in there.

The conference is meant to gather together young adults from East Africa to talk through reconciliation issues. Alycia is working on the media team--oveseeing young adults who will record the conference via blogs and video. You can read firsthand about it on their official blog.

I'll head over in the afternoon tomorrow, when the event starts, to take in the sessions (which should be very interesting) and offer moral support where I can.

Feeling a bit better. My voice is almost ready to get started on the path to getting started again!

Till tomorrow...

Still Wednesday in Rwanda

I thought it best to take the day to rest up. The conference actually begins tomorrow. Today was prep day for the leaders. As I'm not an official part of the conference but here to assist and be with Alycia, I figured I could take the day.

So I've been watching movies (until the movie channel cut out!). Pretty jet-lagged and I can't quite get rid of this darn virus/cold. So a good thing I'm able to take it easy today.

Alycia called early on to applaud my choice as things weren't quite ready anyway and there was a bit of confusion.

So I'll give an update when she gets back to let you know what's happening with the conference.

(As an interesting side note, when I log on to the blogger home page it's in French--one of the main languages of Rwanda.)

Morning 1 in Rwanda

A quick check in this morning. Slept great. Woke up about 3 am. Huge coughing fit. But fell back to sleep an hour later. Slept until about 7:45.

I've begun my talking "fast" to try to get my voice back. Alycia is heading over to the initial planning meeting while I take the morning off to "fast." I'll head over this afternoon.

More to come when I actually have something to talk about (and can "talk" about it. :))

Thanks for your prayers.

Finally in Rwanda!

We made it! 25 hours of flight time. 41 hours from the moment we left our house until we arrived at the hotel in Rwanda. Surprisingly wide awake but that will change soon, I'm sure.

I've still very little voice left. I may have to go on a talking "fast" for a day or two. I don't want to ruin my source of livelihood!

We're busy unpacking. We had a decent meal after a long day of rather bland food.

Tomorrow we get at it, whatever it is.

For now, we are OK, glad to be here, and ready for bed after a nice, long shower.

On the Road to Rwanda

I'm sitting in London Heathrow Airport after a 10 hour flight from Phoenix Easter Sunday night. My daughter and I are on our way to Rwanda to help with a youth conference held there, sponsored by the ELCA. Because I had such a public anxiety meltdown last July when I was supposed to go to Rwanda (see previous Rwanda posts) I decided to not tell anyone about this trip. No one but my immediate family knew I was going. No staff. No board members. No one. Kind of fun keeping a secret.

If you read the other Rwanda posts you got a sense of the anxiety I can experience before such trips. This trip I had done pretty well. Until Tuesday of last week. On Tuesday I received my first traffic ticket in the mail. I had a very challenging conversation with people close to me. I came down with a fever! Not good stuff for one prone to anxiety. But I kept practicing my skills. And even though I had some moments, from Saturday night on I was calm and ready to go. Ironically, I began to get a bit anxious because I wasn't feeling anxious, even though I was flying with the virus still in play. I was a bit nervous my anxiety would rob me of Easter but we had a great Easter morning at Grace!

From here we have a 10 hour flight to Johannesburg (Both BA flights were business class thanks to our points!) Then a 3 hour layover. A 4 hour flight to Nairobi. 3 hour layover. 1 hour to Rwanda. We arrive there 5:30 Tuesday evening--9 hours ahead of Phoenix. That's a long couple of days!

We will return home April 1. No joke.

Keep us in your prayers.

I will send as many updates as I can.

Tim's Big Colonoscopy Adventure--Part 8

8:45 am--home! and lived to tell about. Still deeply under the med so a bit loopy and spacey.

Procedure a breeze. Don't remember most of it. Love those drugs.

The colon is a ok with a small touch of diverticulosis which is treated with more fiber.

Other than that, my colon is the poster child for colons.

Now it's time for breakfast, and a big sleep.

So, in conclusion--for you weenies out there--get it done. It's a piece of cake (or better said, a piece of fiber-optic that's this......................long!)

This is pastor Tim, signing out on another rite of passage. What a way to celebrate three years of Grace.

Tim's Big Colonoscopy Adventure--Part 7

6:17 am, Tuesday, March 11--C-Day! I leave in about 10 mins for the big scope-o-rama.

A so-so sleep last night. I couldn't have water past midnight and am very, very dry. Also, the stomach is still dancing a bit.

But...all in all, so far so moving.

Tim's Big Colonoscopy Adventure--Part 6

8:15 pm--what a delight-full day. Gatorade. Chicken Broth. White Grape Juice. More trips to the bathroom than I can count. And the colonoscopy hasn't even happened yet!

Now...time to head to bed and read awhile (and make a few more trips to the bathroom, no doubt.)

More tomorrow. I know you can hardly wait.

Tim's Big Colonoscopy Adventure--Part 5

4:55 pm--I was warned by a few people yesterday about how awful the Miralax diet would be--that by the end of drinking down 64 ounces of the stuff in a 2-3 hour period of time I would be gagging.

But, thanks to the colonoscopy place, I mixed the stuff with Gatorade and have not had a problem with it whatsoever. In fact, I can't taste the stuff at all.

Jan used Crystal Light last year and hated it because of the artificial sweetener aftertaste.

Having said that, I think I'm wearing a groove in the carpet to the bathroom!

Tim's Big Colonoscopy Adventure--Part 4

3 pm--Started Miralax diet (mixed with Gatorade--ummm, ummm, good!) So far still not a real big deal.

Currently watching the final episode of Pride and Prejudice with Jan.

Tim's Big Colonoscopy Adventure--Part 3

1:45 pm--Chicken broth really doesn't taste all that good but at least it has some protein.

4 hours right on the button. That nurse knows her laxatives.

Simple things to be thankful for--Vaseline, Preparation H, Huggies Baby Wipes

Tim's Big Colonoscopy Adventure--Part 2

12:30 pm-just got up after laying down for a brief nap. Didn't sleep much or well but did rest.

Otherwise, nothing yet. This prep day is a piece of cake (or, better metaphor, a glass of water!) :)

Tim's Big Colonoscopy Adventure--Part 1

Monday, March 10, 2008, 10:10 am--tomorrow I'm having my very first colonoscopy! I can't tell you how excited I am. So, ala Katie Couric, I've decided to blog my experience so that you weenies out there over the age of 50 who have yet to do this will take courage from me--one of the biggest weenies you'll ever meet.

Today is prep day (i.e., spring cleaning day!). I got up at 6:15, did my 20 mile bike ride followed by my push-ups. In between, at 9 am, I took my four laxative pills. It's the first time in my life that I've taken a laxative so it should be a very moving experience.

The doctors office called just as I was nearing the end of my bike ride and told me the four laxative pills wouldn't kick in for about 4-6 hours! So, so far, so good!

In the meantime, I will be hanging out, doing some reading, watching tv, getting to really know our bathroom, and checking in with you to give you the occasional updates.

I'm off to drink more water and dream of burgers and fries.

The People God Uses

I wrote yesterday that I had lunch with a pastor friend last Friday. It was a good chance to get caught up on mutual pastor buddies and acquaintances. These are all pastors I really admire but as I thought back over the conversation I was struck at just how human us pastor-types are.

One is a high control freak (yes, that describes me, too, but I'm thinking of someone else). Another has no training or theological background at all and has built an amazing congregation. One has few if any real people skills and has built a massive church. One has incredible physical challenges and has a global ministry. One struggles with an anxiety disorder (yours truly). One can't organize anything let alone spell the word but still has been used to build a significant mission. And the list goes on and on.

Not unlike the group Jesus put together--a foot-in-the-mouth Peter. A traitor to the Jews tax collector--Matthew. Two brothers with hot tempers--James and John. A thief and betrayer--Judas. And yet Jesus used them all (he could have even used Judas--Jesus chose him after all) to bring his grace to the world.

Jesus uses every day people, with foibles and challenges and glitches and idiosyncrasies, in their every day lives as teachers and realtors and mechanics and husbands and wives and parents and gardeners and bank tellers, etc., to bring his amazing grace to a world filled with people with foibles and challenges and glitches and idiosyncrasies.

How big is big enough?

In our current series, 40 Days of Simply Living, one of the questions we are asking ourselves as followers of Jesus immersed in a consumer culture is--how much is enough? How much do I really need to live a fulfilled, abundant life?

I heard the question raised from a different perspective the other day. I was having lunch with a pastor friend of mine. He told me of a conversation he had had recently with a soon to retire pastor of a large, 45 acre campus. He said to my friend, "Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't build a huge campus. The financial burden I am leaving my congregation with is enormous." His church needs to take in $100,000 per month just to turn on the lights. That doesn't include ministry staff, programming, etc. And they will have to do that every month until Jesus comes back!

I was a part of a large, fast-growing congregation. To keep up with the growth we had to buy more acres. We had to build more buildings. I understand the pressure of trying to accommodate all the people God brought out way. Thankfully we were wise enough to include schools to ease the financial hardship. To this day I believe it was God's call for us to purchase that land and build a large campus.

But one of the unintended consequences of these overly large church campuses, if we aren't careful, can be the "inheritance" we leave the next generations--a huge campus with huge bills and the pressure to maintain the campus and pay the bills!

This retiring pastor said that if he were to do it again, he'd start more churches and not build a huge campus.

Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, the "more" bug hits us pastor-types as we seek to grow our congregations. Like consumer culture we believe the more we have, the bigger we are, the more people we can reach. Which is true. And worthy. But what are the long term consequences? Who will pay for it down the line? Even if the buildings are paid for, who will pay the light bills, the staff bills to staff the buildings, etc. If we aren't careful the missions of the generations to follow us in those big buildings will simply be to figure out how to get more people in to cover the bills.

I'm a pro big church guy. I've seen first hand the power of a church with momentum. I've seen the kinds of ministry big churches can do.

But when is big big enough?

As Grace looks to the future--to building, to church starts--it's a question we'll want to keep in mind.

I'm Back!

It has been awhile since I've checked in on my blog. Jan and I were in Hawaii for a couple of weeks on vacation and it's taken me another week to find a moment to blog again.

Jan and I had a wonderful vacation. It was one of those vacations in which every day moved nice and slow. It was the first time I'd taken two full weeks off at once in a long time, missing two weekends in a row. And it was good!

So I'm ready to hit the blog again in the coming days. I'm excited to see what may come out of my fingers onto the screen.