Sunday, July 8, 2007

Butterflies for Rwanda

Tomorrow evening (Monday) I head out on my third trip to Rwanda since 2005. We will be connecting with our friends at the Lutheran Church in Rwanda, visiting a couple of orphanages, a couple of women's organizations, and meeting with some government officials. We'll view some genocide sites, eat lunch at "Hotel Rwanda," and speak at a couple of churches. It is a quick trip of only 5 nights.

My passion for Rwanda began several years ago when my daughter Alycia asked me to edit a paper for her graduate class on the genocide in Rwanda and its impact on women. To be honest, I had been oblivious to the genocide back in 1994. I've had a lot of catching up to do. It's truly a country that needs reckless, transforming grace.

A few people from Grace will be joining me (Michelle and Joe and my brother Jeff) along with our Bishop of the ELCA Grand Canyon Synod, Steve, and his daughter Megan, and Corey, Alycia's friend.

Alycia has been in Rwanda for 7 weeks working with the gacaca courts--the local courts seeking to bring reconciliation to the country as the perpetrators of the genocide and their victims meet face to face. Gacaca means Justice on the Grass. Alycia has been blogging her experiences.

I will be blogging my experiences to the best of my ability so I hope you'll check in from time to time, or better yet, subscribe to this blog.

As for the Butterflies--For 20 years I have been working on my anxiety disorder. I have come miles and miles since my first real panic attack in 1988 thanks mainly to Lucinda Bassett and her excellent work on the issue. (Go to her website by clicking her name, hit view commercials, and check out commercial number 1. That's yours truly with hair and a beard!) I have learned the skills for managing my anxiety and usually live fairly anxiety free.

(For those of you who have no idea what anxiety is like, it's hard to put in words, but it's a feeling of dread, sometimes panic and terror, produced usually through inappropriate thoughts, i.e., being afraid for no apparent reason. The cure for most people is to learn to control those negative thoughts and replace them with the truth.)

A trip like this, even though it's my third, brings back all the old tapes. So I've had a few days of pre-Randa butterflies--not just a few butterflies, but sometimes a hornets nest of them, to mix my metaphors. But I will step through the wall, feel the fear, and enjoy it anyway! Your prayers for me and the team will be much appreciated.

More to come.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Tim,
Your candidness about "butterflies" is appreciated as one who also struggles with some feelings of inadequacy and the resulting stress. The Grace team will be in our prayers.