So...Jan finally asked me out! If she hadn't, we'd probably still be dating and I'd still be wondering if she liked me!
Friday night I had a commitment--our High School band was playing at an A-squad Basketball Team home game which was being broadcast on a Christian Radio Station (KTIS). I had a trumpet solo. We were concert band, not a pep or marching band, so we had to improvise a bit.
I decided I would take Jan to the game and then a movie afterwards.
I arranged to pick up her up at her house (and I had to--got to--meet her parents).
However, my mom made me drive Jeff and his friend Arnie to the game, which meant I had to pick up Jan for our first date with Jeff and Arnie in tow. Very cool! :(
The three of us headed into Jan's house where I met her mom and dad for the first time. I was nervous enough taking Jan out let alone having to meet her folks. But, all in all, it went ok. They really liked Jeff!
We went to the game where I was able to dump Jeff and Arnie. After the game we headed downtown Minneapolis to catch a movie (this was before the days of the multi-plex explosion). We had two options for a movie: A new Dean Martin movie, something like Ricco? where he played a lawyer? or Young Frankenstein. I'd already seen Young Frankenstein (and it turns out no one saw the new Dean Martin movie) so we took in Young Frankenstein. When you see that movie with your high school friends you perceive the humor one way. When you're out on your first date you see it in a far different light--a more uncomfortable light! But we both enjoyed it.
I took Jan home. We hung out awhile. I got home past my curfew. A trend that would continue for a few weeks until I was grounded!
The next night we headed out to what used to be the Met Sports Center--now the Mega Mall-- and home of the once Minnesota Northstars hockey team, now the Dallas Stars. My Grandfather's organization, The Lutheran Evangelistic Movement (LEM) was hosting their annual youth conference. My folks encouraged us to attend as they wanted us to hear and meet a new, young evangelist named Tom Eggum. Tom and I became friends and he eventually came to work with us at Joy.
After the meeting I took Jan home. We hung out awhile. And I got home past my curfew...
That weekend, January 24-25, 1975, began a five year dating experience which eventually lead to marriage...but I get ahead of myself.
PS--I just looked up the Dean Martin Movie. It was called, Mr. Ricco. How's that for a memory!!! Not bad for a middle-aged guy.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Musings on 30 Years of Marriage--2
These posts will make more sense when read in order!
(A reminder--this is all written from my perspective, not Jan's!)
In the fall of 1974 some school buddies and I decided to start a new band. Most of the people were Seniors. I was a Junior. Early on my brother Jeff, a sophomore at the time, joined as our main vocalist. I played bass guitar, trumpet, and a bit of piano. We called the group, Daybreak. We had some great musicians in the group, but for whatever reason, we never really jelled as a band. In fact, I think we only did one concert.
But that one concert changed everything...
For some reason, Jan attended the concert. Again, she really had no idea who I was. But her best friend was in our group, and her best friend...wanted me! (as I found out later). So she asked Jan to the concert to check me out.
During the concert we had a song that desperately needed a piano. But we had no competent piano players. So in the middle of the concert I asked Jan to come up and play (because I knew she was a keyboard player). It was goofy to do so--but it gives a sense of how unorganized we were as a band.
Anyway, Jan came up and played the song. That night we asked her to be in our band.
After rehearsals, Jan and I began talking to each other. She--in order to check me out for her friend. Me--for the pure joy of being in her presence.
(It might help to know that I was extremely shy! I was scared to death of Jan in part because I was crazy about her and in part because she was a year older than I was!)
The running joke in the band was that while the band had to put away all the equipment, Jan and I sat in a corner and talked.
I remember at one point she asked me if I would ever date a senior. I played coy and said that it depended on which senior. Jan later told me she was quickly getting the impression that I was not interested in her best friend but in Jan! Talk about a bind for Jan.
One night we had some friends over to the house including Jan. My dad was trying to set me up with one of Jan's friends. But my mom later told me she had a sense that it was Jan I was interested in, even though I barely talked to her.
It was becoming clear that something was going on between the two of us, but being shy and scared to death of ruining a good thing, I didn't do anything--literally. I just hung out with her but never made any gestures toward her.
One day, sitting in the lunch room, she asked me for my class ring. She started wearing it and gave me hers. People asked if we were going out, so to speak. I said I didn't think so. We just exchanged rings.
My buddy worked in the bookstore. So he let me and Jan hide out in the back. What a perfect place! And I didn't do anything! We talked alot. But in my mind it was not boyfriend/girlfriend stuff--yet.
Finally one day she asked me what we were doing on Friday night. Apparently we were going out on a date. But I still didn't know if we were now an item or not...
(A reminder--this is all written from my perspective, not Jan's!)
In the fall of 1974 some school buddies and I decided to start a new band. Most of the people were Seniors. I was a Junior. Early on my brother Jeff, a sophomore at the time, joined as our main vocalist. I played bass guitar, trumpet, and a bit of piano. We called the group, Daybreak. We had some great musicians in the group, but for whatever reason, we never really jelled as a band. In fact, I think we only did one concert.
But that one concert changed everything...
For some reason, Jan attended the concert. Again, she really had no idea who I was. But her best friend was in our group, and her best friend...wanted me! (as I found out later). So she asked Jan to the concert to check me out.
During the concert we had a song that desperately needed a piano. But we had no competent piano players. So in the middle of the concert I asked Jan to come up and play (because I knew she was a keyboard player). It was goofy to do so--but it gives a sense of how unorganized we were as a band.
Anyway, Jan came up and played the song. That night we asked her to be in our band.
After rehearsals, Jan and I began talking to each other. She--in order to check me out for her friend. Me--for the pure joy of being in her presence.
(It might help to know that I was extremely shy! I was scared to death of Jan in part because I was crazy about her and in part because she was a year older than I was!)
The running joke in the band was that while the band had to put away all the equipment, Jan and I sat in a corner and talked.
I remember at one point she asked me if I would ever date a senior. I played coy and said that it depended on which senior. Jan later told me she was quickly getting the impression that I was not interested in her best friend but in Jan! Talk about a bind for Jan.
One night we had some friends over to the house including Jan. My dad was trying to set me up with one of Jan's friends. But my mom later told me she had a sense that it was Jan I was interested in, even though I barely talked to her.
It was becoming clear that something was going on between the two of us, but being shy and scared to death of ruining a good thing, I didn't do anything--literally. I just hung out with her but never made any gestures toward her.
One day, sitting in the lunch room, she asked me for my class ring. She started wearing it and gave me hers. People asked if we were going out, so to speak. I said I didn't think so. We just exchanged rings.
My buddy worked in the bookstore. So he let me and Jan hide out in the back. What a perfect place! And I didn't do anything! We talked alot. But in my mind it was not boyfriend/girlfriend stuff--yet.
Finally one day she asked me what we were doing on Friday night. Apparently we were going out on a date. But I still didn't know if we were now an item or not...
Musings on 30 Years of Marriage--1
On August 25, 2009 Jan and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage. So I thought it would be good to chronicle some of our life together over 30 years.
So...let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...
We're talking memories from 10th grade in high school so who knows how accurate they really are?
I first noticed Jan when I started 10th grade. We were both attending a Christian High School, Minnehaha Academy. Jan was a year ahead of me.
I was a part of the school choir, called, MA Singers, as was Jan. Almost no 10th grade girls ever made it into Singers but a few of us 10th grade boys did.
I sat in the back with the rest of the baritones. Jan sat up in the front with the altos. Being a young, testosterone-charged 10th grader, it was not beyond me to notice girls, and I noticed Jan right away. Her long blonde hair, her cat-like eyes caught my attention. She, on the other hand, had no idea I existed.
I had a girl friend at the time. But that didn't keep me from observing other girls. I wasn't married after all.
Some early memories: Andrae' Crouch, a famous Gospel singer, was in concert at a downtown church called, Souls Harbor. I attended the concert with someone, I don't remember who, perhaps my girlfriend at the time??? Anyway, I spotted Jan at the concert. Again, she had no idea I existed.
The following Monday, in the choir room, there were just a handful of us as we waited for the other students to arrive. I was sitting in the back. Down the row from me was my girlfriend's brother. He had been at the concert as well. And in the front row was Jan, who had no idea I existed. So I very loudly called across the room to my girlfriend's brother and asked him how he liked the Andrae Crouch concert, hoping Jan would chime in. It worked. She turned around and we all talked about the concert for awhile. Then it was time for choir to begin. I got her attention. But still had the sense that she had no idea who I was.
Another memory: In choir I sat next to a guy who was a Senior. He was a fun guy, but a real goofball. Not the kind of guy who would attract the ladies, so to speak. Every spring our school held a banquet for Jrs and Srs called, JS. We couldn't dance at our school (a vertical expression of a horizontal idea!) so we had banquets instead. So this guy tells me he's taking Jan (who was a Junior) to JS. I couldn't believe it. What in the world was this sophisticated woman doing going out with this goofball? Nevertheless, I lived vicariously through him. He showed us pictures from the big event. I was relived to hear they weren't an item. Still...I had to do some mental gymnastics to try to figure out why she had gone out with him in the first place. And she still had no idea I existed.
Another memory: This was the fall of 1975, Jan's senior year, my junior year. The Jr's and Senior's did a fall boat trip down the Mississippi River. I can still remember what Jan was wearing--Jeans, a hoodie-sweatshirt, and a cap (not a baseball cap, but more of a driving cap.) I can remember this because there's a picture of her in our yearbook from the River trip. But I think I would have remembered anyway. (My timing is a bit confused by I believe this was around the time I broke up with my girlfriend. We weren't doing well anyway. I took her to homecoming but it was a big bust! She actually went home with someone else!)
I continued to lust after Jan from afar. But that all changed in January of 1975...
So...let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...
We're talking memories from 10th grade in high school so who knows how accurate they really are?
I first noticed Jan when I started 10th grade. We were both attending a Christian High School, Minnehaha Academy. Jan was a year ahead of me.
I was a part of the school choir, called, MA Singers, as was Jan. Almost no 10th grade girls ever made it into Singers but a few of us 10th grade boys did.
I sat in the back with the rest of the baritones. Jan sat up in the front with the altos. Being a young, testosterone-charged 10th grader, it was not beyond me to notice girls, and I noticed Jan right away. Her long blonde hair, her cat-like eyes caught my attention. She, on the other hand, had no idea I existed.
I had a girl friend at the time. But that didn't keep me from observing other girls. I wasn't married after all.
Some early memories: Andrae' Crouch, a famous Gospel singer, was in concert at a downtown church called, Souls Harbor. I attended the concert with someone, I don't remember who, perhaps my girlfriend at the time??? Anyway, I spotted Jan at the concert. Again, she had no idea I existed.
The following Monday, in the choir room, there were just a handful of us as we waited for the other students to arrive. I was sitting in the back. Down the row from me was my girlfriend's brother. He had been at the concert as well. And in the front row was Jan, who had no idea I existed. So I very loudly called across the room to my girlfriend's brother and asked him how he liked the Andrae Crouch concert, hoping Jan would chime in. It worked. She turned around and we all talked about the concert for awhile. Then it was time for choir to begin. I got her attention. But still had the sense that she had no idea who I was.
Another memory: In choir I sat next to a guy who was a Senior. He was a fun guy, but a real goofball. Not the kind of guy who would attract the ladies, so to speak. Every spring our school held a banquet for Jrs and Srs called, JS. We couldn't dance at our school (a vertical expression of a horizontal idea!) so we had banquets instead. So this guy tells me he's taking Jan (who was a Junior) to JS. I couldn't believe it. What in the world was this sophisticated woman doing going out with this goofball? Nevertheless, I lived vicariously through him. He showed us pictures from the big event. I was relived to hear they weren't an item. Still...I had to do some mental gymnastics to try to figure out why she had gone out with him in the first place. And she still had no idea I existed.
Another memory: This was the fall of 1975, Jan's senior year, my junior year. The Jr's and Senior's did a fall boat trip down the Mississippi River. I can still remember what Jan was wearing--Jeans, a hoodie-sweatshirt, and a cap (not a baseball cap, but more of a driving cap.) I can remember this because there's a picture of her in our yearbook from the River trip. But I think I would have remembered anyway. (My timing is a bit confused by I believe this was around the time I broke up with my girlfriend. We weren't doing well anyway. I took her to homecoming but it was a big bust! She actually went home with someone else!)
I continued to lust after Jan from afar. But that all changed in January of 1975...
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Our Associate Pastor Moves On
Pastor Brian joined our staff 3 years ago. When I was up in Minneapolis interviewing candidates several years ago, he by far stood head and shoulders above the rest. There was no doubt in my mind that he was the guy for Grace.
When we called Brian it was with the thought that he might plant a new congregation out of Grace. For the last 12 months or so we've had that conversation from time to time. Little did we know that God had a surprise in store for us. As Brian and I were talking about what it might look like for him to begin a new congregation he received an invitation to interview at Wartburg College in Waverly, Iowa. No surprise--they loved him and called him to be their campus pastor.
Brian will be greatly missed. And his new call leaves some holes to fill at Grace.
I've been asked several times already if we're going to find a new associate. The answer, simply put, is: Not for the foreseeable future. One of the things both Brian and I have been mulling over is how to downplay professional church workers and up-play the gifts and talents within the laity. So rather than hire another professional church type, we're going to start putting our mulling into action. A few of our staff will help carry some of the load, but I'm eager to see what leaders will emerge from within our congregation.
As I dream about my final third of ministry, one of my priorities is to find ways to increasingly invite more and more of our laity into the joy and significance of mission. There are gifts sitting in the chairs each Sunday waiting to be used. We've got a lot of people already doing significant mission. From my perspective, the more the merrier.
So over the next months and years we'll watch together as God raises up talented, gifted people from within Grace to lead, support, and serve the mission of Grace.
When we called Brian it was with the thought that he might plant a new congregation out of Grace. For the last 12 months or so we've had that conversation from time to time. Little did we know that God had a surprise in store for us. As Brian and I were talking about what it might look like for him to begin a new congregation he received an invitation to interview at Wartburg College in Waverly, Iowa. No surprise--they loved him and called him to be their campus pastor.
Brian will be greatly missed. And his new call leaves some holes to fill at Grace.
I've been asked several times already if we're going to find a new associate. The answer, simply put, is: Not for the foreseeable future. One of the things both Brian and I have been mulling over is how to downplay professional church workers and up-play the gifts and talents within the laity. So rather than hire another professional church type, we're going to start putting our mulling into action. A few of our staff will help carry some of the load, but I'm eager to see what leaders will emerge from within our congregation.
As I dream about my final third of ministry, one of my priorities is to find ways to increasingly invite more and more of our laity into the joy and significance of mission. There are gifts sitting in the chairs each Sunday waiting to be used. We've got a lot of people already doing significant mission. From my perspective, the more the merrier.
So over the next months and years we'll watch together as God raises up talented, gifted people from within Grace to lead, support, and serve the mission of Grace.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Changing of the generations
25 years ago, back in 1984, at the young age of 26, I started, at Pastor Walt Kallestad's request, a new worship experience geared to people in my age group at Community Church of Joy. With the help of Jeff, Diane, and my wife Jan, among others, we launched a new band we called, The Good News Band." The band consisted of drums, bass guitar, lead guitar, rhythm guitar, keys, and vocalists. It was a long way from the organ my mom played each Sunday in church. The music was contemporary, using the styles and sounds my generation was raised on--high energy pop, pop ballads, rock and roll, etc. At that time it was a radically new way to do worship, especially in more traditional church settings. We used the latest in worship choruses, but more than that, we tried to use music that everyday people were listening to on the radio and integrating it into the message for the day.
While the music has changed, and the musicians have come and gone, 25 years later Jeff is still singing, Diane sings occasionally but now prefers to be behind the scenes, Jan is still playing keys, and Duon is still on the drums. And they still have it! And they will continue, along with Tony and others, to bring us great worship.
But it's also time for the next 26 year olds to start taking the lead for their generation. And we have a batch of talented young adults ready and eager to do some new things in worship to reach their generation, from music to communion to how the message is presented.
On June 28 at the 10:45 service the young adults (plus yours truly--the old guy) will be offering the worship experience. It will feature their age group leading the music, serving communion, leading the service, etc. This will be an experiment, one we hope to continue once a month during the summer. It will also be a work in process. But I suspect it's an experience whose time has come.
I also suspect, that as happened 25 years ago, not only will young adults enjoy this new worship expression, but some of us older people might as well.
We will probably ease into it a bit the first time out--but who knows (and we shouldn't assume this will be a screaming, loud rock concert. Their music is as diverse as is/was ours!). I am confident that it will be a rewarding, enriching experience. I've been spending time with a core group of our young adults and they are pretty amped about this.
So I invite you to try it out if you'd like. I invite you to keep this new venture in your prayers. And I invite you to tell your friends.
While the music has changed, and the musicians have come and gone, 25 years later Jeff is still singing, Diane sings occasionally but now prefers to be behind the scenes, Jan is still playing keys, and Duon is still on the drums. And they still have it! And they will continue, along with Tony and others, to bring us great worship.
But it's also time for the next 26 year olds to start taking the lead for their generation. And we have a batch of talented young adults ready and eager to do some new things in worship to reach their generation, from music to communion to how the message is presented.
On June 28 at the 10:45 service the young adults (plus yours truly--the old guy) will be offering the worship experience. It will feature their age group leading the music, serving communion, leading the service, etc. This will be an experiment, one we hope to continue once a month during the summer. It will also be a work in process. But I suspect it's an experience whose time has come.
I also suspect, that as happened 25 years ago, not only will young adults enjoy this new worship expression, but some of us older people might as well.
We will probably ease into it a bit the first time out--but who knows (and we shouldn't assume this will be a screaming, loud rock concert. Their music is as diverse as is/was ours!). I am confident that it will be a rewarding, enriching experience. I've been spending time with a core group of our young adults and they are pretty amped about this.
So I invite you to try it out if you'd like. I invite you to keep this new venture in your prayers. And I invite you to tell your friends.
Monday, June 1, 2009
God's Sense of Irony
As I was watching my son carrying his daughter from the hospital out to the car two days after she was born--watching him all tatted up, his pants half-way down his butt, a winter stocking-cap on his head in 100 degree weather--it hit me! I used to see young dads who looked like him and thought to myself, "Seriously, this guy is going to raise a kid!?!"
The jokes on me. That guy is my son! And I couldn't be prouder! And I couldn't be more confident that he's going to be a great dad!
Clover Update
Clover is headed home! The biopsy came back negative and she pooped today. So all is well.
Mom and Dad are beat! Grandpa, on the other hand, is very, very happy!
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