Is Grace Becoming a "Men's" Club?

Back in 2005 when we launched Community of Grace, I came across a book called, "Why Men Hate Going to Church" by David Murrow.  It was one of those 2x4's across the brain for me on how the Church is losing men by unintentionally skewing things to the way the female brain works.  In some denominations like ours (the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) females can outnumber males in churches 60-40% and upwards to 75-25%.

As a result of reading that book I have committed myself to making sure that we create a church that intentionally draws in men.  And that is no easy task.  Many men perceive church to be girly (and, as Murrow's book points out, with good reason) and it's a tough sell to convince them that testosterone is welcome.  Many men in the church have become passive, allowing women to occupy virtually every area of ministry (with, perhaps the exception of the pastor, and that's changing, too).  To suddenly be a part of a church calling men to step it up is a big culture shift for a lot of men (and women).

David Murrow also alerted me to the alarming stat that 70-90% of all boys will leave the church in their teens and 20's and most won't return.  So we've poured a lot of energy into keeping and discipling our boys.

What's that meant, in part, is that I have to talk a lot and often about this issue to try to create a more man-friendly climate.  And what that also means is that for some, it seems like all we do is talk about men and cater to men.  So when I hear things like: "all Tim talks about is boys," or "Grace only cares about men," or "Grace is becoming a men's club," I take great heart.  The message is getting through. (I've said often that I have to announce a men's event at least 5 times before men actually sign up.  But women fill up an event after one announcement!  So in that area alone we talk a lot more about men because it takes so much energy to break through!)

And we have come a long way over the last 8+ years.  We're seeing more men involved in discipleship and service than ever before.

But here's a reality check: We still have more women than men in worship on any given weekend (though we are doing better).  Women make up the majority of our volunteers.  For every one "man event" we offer at least 2 women's events.  Far more women turn out for women's events than do men for men's events.  In other words, for all of the good, hard work we have done to let men know Jesus has a call on their lives, too, we are far from a men's club.

So what can we expect in the months and years to come?

I will continue to fight for men and our boys.  Because I'm a man, my passion runs deep for calling our men and boys to follow Jesus into heroic manhood.  I also feel the call to fight for men/boys not only at Grace but throughout the larger Church.

Kimberly--our women's ministry director--will continue to offer great programming for our women.  One of her passions is to mentor women, which she is ramping up this year.  I have also asked her to be for our girls what I am for our boys.  So soon you will see her posting insights into girls just as I post insights into our boys (which you always graciously pass on to your friends.)  I've told Kimberly many times that as the father of a daughter and now the grandfather of a little girl, I'm just as passionate about our girls as I am about our boys...I just don't have the time to invest fully in both and do it well. So I'm advocating for our boys and supporting Kimberly as she advocates for our girls.

If and when our men catch up to our women, then I can ease up on my personal emphasis on them.  Until then, we will continue to offer great worship, programming, discipleship opps, and mission opps for men and women, boys and girls, and I will personally continue to be an advocate for calling men to follow Jesus into manhood and do the same for women through Kimberly as she advocates for women.

There aren't many churches courageous enough to support and buy into that kind of a church!  I'm glad to be a part of one that is.