My Daughter and I

I wrote the following today for a local newspaper. So I thought I'd post it on my blog as well.

This weekend (August 9) my daughter is getting married. I have the privilege of walking my daughter down the aisle, paying for the wedding!, and, because I’m a pastor, I also get to perform the wedding ceremony.
Thankfully, we are thrilled with her husband-to-be. He’s a tall, Minnesota boy (who has a job!) who’s a perfect partner for our daughter. Since the day Alycia was born my wife and I have prayed regularly that God would bless Alycia with a good life partner. And God has answered those prayers.

Alycia is our first-born. I’m a first-born. So the two of us have had a very special relationship. We’re both driven. We’re both headstrong. We’re both opinionated. We argue fiercely and love each other just as passionately. The challenge for Alycia is that my opinions are always right!
Usually a dad hopes he’s passed along some important life insights to his kids. But in the case of Alycia, I think I’ve learned more from her than she from me.

Alycia discovered her passion in life just before college. In searching for where she’d attend college she found Richmond University—an American University in London. She headed overseas (to the delight and sadness of her dad) to study human rights—with a particular focus on women’s rights. Because I’ve done some writing in my life, Alycia always asked me to edit her papers. It proved to be life changing for me as her papers introduced me to a world I knew existed but never paid much attention to—a world of abuse, trafficking, injustice, poverty, and heartache. (And, I must add, a world of beauty and goodness and hope!)

In her Senior year of college she headed off on her own to Rwanda to study the effects of the 1994 genocide on women. She had no contacts there. She simply went hoping for the best. I was a nervous wreck! To be honest, I had no real knowledge of Rwanda or the genocide. But in editing her paper on her experience later on I felt a stirring in my heart—a call to somehow in someway support the Rwandans as they tried to put their country together. That led to a trip to Rwanda with my daughter, in 2005, the first of 3 so far. And it leads to an active partnership with the Rwandan Lutheran Church and our congregation.
Her understanding of our broken world continues to stretch me.

Because of her I try to watch the BBC World News broadcast each day to keep up on the world. Because of her I’ve become far more sensitive to the pain of the world and how I and my congregation might make a difference. She’s even forced me to rethink many of my political views! Most importantly, she’s helped make me a better pastor in opening my eyes to a grace-hungry world.

She has one year left of law school, pursuing her dream to become a human rights lawyer. Then—she’s off to change the world in some small or big way.

But she’s already been changing it. She’s changed my life since the moment she was born. She’s had a profound impact on my ministry and the mission of our congregation though she may not know it. The Lutheran Church in Rwanda has been blessed and supported significantly because of her passion for that country. And now she has the chance to join with her soul mate to continue to impact the hurting world around her by fighting for justice and bringing grace to the world.

I’m not sad in the least that she is leaving home to get married since she left home 10 years ago. I am, however, deeply grateful for the chance to watch this amazing woman begin a new chapter in her life, and to thank her for the impact she’s had on my life by “marrying” her and her fiancé—tying the knot as tightly as I can!